What if women had started the world?

This is not a retelling. It is not a correction, a manifesto, or a claim. This is a question—a question older than answers, and too slippery for certainty. It is a theory, perhaps even a myth in the making. A thought experiment in the shape of a woman. Or maybe a woman in the shape of a thought.

There are moments when we believe we have outgrown the things we once loved. We step away, telling ourselves it was never ours to keep, that we were only borrowing it for a while. That we have moved on, that we are better off without it.

How cliché it all is… all of it. The oddness entraps every bit of my soul, it eats, it leaves, it says, it goes, it comes, and it is all one grand cliché; the very act of existence.

The Question, The Collapse, The Answer: An Existential Spiral That Lands Somewhere Softer

There were years when the world spoke softly, barely a whisper. Small questions surfaced like ripples on a still pond: Who are you becoming? Is this the right path? Are you happy? 

This is a compilation, a memoir, a journey through lessons that I have learned as I come to close my twenty-second year in this life. These have all played a part in my life in one way or another and are lessons I have either recently learned or compiled from experiences in my journals.

I don’t want to wake up when I’m 85 and wonder what the pain was all for if I never did anything with it. The hurt I went through isn’t what I need to live for but something must come out of so much rain…

It is three am and I sit on the floor of my childhood bedroom and it is the closest I have ever felt to god.

You have been here before, you have found yourself on the precipice of this be-all-end-all feeling, you have arrived at this monumental moment, and maybe you have been here more than once.

I always hear, "Would your inner child be proud of where you are?” 

After much thought, I am proud to say she would not…

Before the day comes, in which it is my time, I pray I may be told that no more could I have been passionate. That in truth, I had reached all that I could, not in terms of accomplishments or in that which is quantity.

The world doesn’t stop for me, it doesn’t stop for you, and it sure as hell won’t stop for inconveniences.